I have always wanted to be a Mama, and I am so incredibly grateful that I get to fulfill that calling with Brooke and Colby. When I really stop and think about it, I am humbled that Heavenly Father trusts me with their little spirits and I know what a big responsibility it is to raise them in a way that would be pleasing unto Him. Sometimes it's hard to focus on the bigger picture when day-to-day struggles creep in, but I want to do better at organizing myself and my responsibilities so that I can give my kids the best version of myself possible. When I get stressed about church stuff, or household duties, my patience isn't what it should be, and I hate that. Brooke and Colby are so precious, and I want them to always feel of my love and adoration. Except for when they make poor choices, haha. Then I want them to feel a need for correction, while also feeling my love :)
I also strongly feel that I will get to see the two babies that miscarried again someday. The first was a little girl, second was a boy. Sometimes I think about how different our life would be if we had two more children running around the house, and I imagine it's something I will always wonder about. The losses impacted Brooke as well because she will bring it up on a semi-frequent basis. (Usually after we have spent time with a baby or small toddler.) We still hope to have another child (or possibly more?), but if that's not the plan for our family, I hope that I can be at peace and just enjoy raising my Brooke and Colby.
We hosted our Mother's Day Celebration this year, and by that I mean that I prepared my house and set the table :) Brooke was helping and had opinions about where everyone should sit. We decided to make place cards and she was pretty pleased with herself when she finished. Jerry offered to get all the food for the men to prepare at our house. They made a yummy chicken pasta, salad, and grilled zucchini. He brought Nothing Bundt Cakes for dessert, and we were all stuffed to the max by the end of the evening.
It was a fun and casual Sunday afternoon together, and I'm grateful that we live close enough to spend the day together. I was missing my own Mom, who I haven't spent Mother's Day with for many, many years, but I was able to talk to her on the phone and express my love and admiration. Kevin and I both really lucked out in the mom department, and I'm grateful for the love and support they are to our family.
I am also so grateful for friends who are wonderful examples of mothers. They inspire me to be better, do better, and be more like our Savior.
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