#13

Kevin and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary this year!  We told the kids that it was essentially our family's birthday since our marriage was where it all began :)  And since any good birthday is an excuse for a treat, we opted for our family's favorite...cheesecake!  I used my Mom's recipe, which we all love, and added 13 candles.  We blew them out as a family after singing a made-up anniversary song to the tune of Happy Birthday.  Pretty classic, I know :)

The next weekend, Jerry and Bev came to watch our kids so we could have a little getaway weekend. We didn't really have definite plans until 2 days before, but it was all perfectly lovely.  We stayed in Fort Worth close to a great shopping area, Torchy's Tacos, and Woodshed Smokehouse.  It doesn't get better than that :)  It was so nice to have time just the two of us.  When we would brainstorm about our weekend plans, I kept telling Kevin that I just wanted to hold hands and hang out together.  And that's exactly what we did for two days.  We had brunch, shopped for a few hours, tried a new ice cream shop,  laid by the pool, ate too much at the Woodshed, watched a movie, laid by the pool some more, and treated ourselves to a couple's massage. Kevin was hesitant about the massage, but he knew that I really wanted to do it.  (He thinks massages are weird, but I assured him that they were great.  I hadn't had one since my BYU days, so I was looking forward to the experience.)  He said it was a good experience, but we both thought it was a bit rougher than we expected.  They always instruct you to tell them if it's too rough, but I also wanted them to massage out my tight shoulders, so I just suffered through some of the tight spots, haha.

It really was a great weekend, and a great way to celebrate us :)  The kids didn't even miss us because they were having a blast with Grandma and Papa.  Highlights for them included a trip to Denny's, and a visit to the Dollar Store. I love that they sent us pics!  It was weird for me to be away from my babies, especially at the pool where I am used to taking care of someone.  It took me a while to relax because it was such a shift in mindset, but once I did, it was quite pleasant.

I love the family that Kevin and I have created, and I'm so grateful that we were able to celebrate our family's birthday, both with the kids and without them!

papa's new swing

A week or so before Father's Day, Papa began hinting around that he wanted a new swing for his backyard.  We did some Amazon shopping, and the Peacocks and our family went in on this fun disk swing. Papa was thrilled!  Kevin helped scope out the backyard looking for the perfect tree for the swing, and they eventually settled on one near the edge of the old fence line . The only problem was that the A-frame ladder wasn't quite tall enough to reach the desired branch.  Jeff has some height on Kevin, but even he couldn't safely reach the top.  Then someone suggested a painter's ladder.  You know, the kind that goes straight up??  I was totally nervous, but Jeff steadied the ladder as Kevin climbed up and secured it to the branch.  

It became very obvious that the swing's ropes wouldn't be long enough, but nothing that some additional chain couldn't fix :)  It definitely didn't stop the kids from having fun!  They either climbed up the A-frame ladder themselves, or had one of the dads lift them up.  

I see lots of fun swing adventures in their future, especially when they are able to climb on it themselves, haha!

girl's camp

Girl's Camp was at the stake level this year and was held at Legacy Lake in Oklahoma.  This is where we had ward camp last year, but I wasn't able to attend because it was right after my second miscarriage.  Fast forward a year, and I was hesitant to volunteer to go to camp.  Although I really wanted to be there with the girls, I had just started fertility treatments and was hoping to be pregnant by the time camp rolled around.  My secretary Ashley volunteered (it's her family's property) as well as my counselor Teddi.  A month or so before camp, Ashley let me know that her childcare fell through and she would be unable to go without taking her daughter.  Teddi quickly let me know that our friend Joanna would love to go, which was such a relief.  I love both of those women so much! 

I knew the girls were in good hands, but it was hard to not feel guilty about skipping again. I have worked with the YW for almost 7 years and have yet to be one of our ward camp leaders.  I have always either been pregnant, had a nursing baby, or had a recent miscarriage. With the exception of last year, I HAVE always been able to go up on Friday to attend dinner with the girls and be part of their testimony meeting. I was truly looking forward to it this year, but the day was a long one!

Earlier that week, a 10 year old boy in our ward passed away unexpectedly.  He had special needs and was medically fragile, but it was all very sudden.  His funeral was scheduled for that Friday at 10 AM, and although I planned to leave for camp at 10, my counselor Sandee and I decided to attend the funeral before driving the 4 hours up to camp.

Before the funeral, I also had a doctor's appointment to do pregnancy blood work.  I was extremely anxious about this appointment and was trying to stay hopeful that the results would be positive.  Everything looked good at each of my sonograms and I had moments of nausea which I hoped were good signs.  I knew that they would call me a few hours later with results, and I debated about whether or not I would want to answer while driving to camp with Sandee.  I decided that I would just let it go to voicemail and listen to the message when I could have a private moment to myself.  I confirmed with the office that they had my consent on file to leave a detailed message, so I told Kevin that I would text him as soon as I knew anything.  He asked if I wanted to wait until that night when we could be together, but I knew that would kill me to know that I had the message on my phone while I stayed in limbo.  

As I walked out of the funeral (which was so beautiful), I looked at my phone and saw that I had missed a call from the doctor's office.  I quickly rushed to the bathroom where I was going to change, and looked at the transcription of my voicemail.  I was frustrated because it simply said, "Just calling to go over test results.  Call us back at your earliest convenience."  This is exactly what I was trying to avoid!!  Sandee and I were both changing in the restroom, so I told her that I was going to make a quick phone call before we headed out. I stepped into one of the church classrooms and called the office.  After being on hold for 5 or 6 minutes, the nurse got on to let me know that unfortunately, the results were negative.  I was really disappointed, but had the strength to hold it together. I had been praying so hard that I would be prepared to accept whatever the outcome was, and I know that helped me in that moment.  My parents were also praying hard for us, as well as other family and friends.  Prayer definitely helps, and I have felt that immensely throughout this process!

After getting the results, I quickly texted Kevin, left the room, and pretended that all was well. After a few minutes in the car, I told Sandee about what the phone call was all about and it helped to talk about it a bit.  I was still emotionally doing well, which was a huge blessing.  After about 2 hours, we stopped for a quick bit to eat, then drove the other 2 hours before arriving at camp.  According to the emailed camp schedule, we were supposed to leave by 5, which would have only given us an hour and a half there, haha!  But thankfully, they were way off on the schedule and we had almost 3 hours with the girls.  

I immediately noticed a difference in two of the girls in particular. They are both SUPER shy, and they were initiating conversation with me!  It was really the craziest thing, but I could tell that the week at camp was good for them.  I love seeing the girls at the end of the week because they are on a spiritual high and have had a week chock full of shared experiences. We enjoyed dinner, then separated by ward for testimony meeting.  We were allowed 30 minutes for testimonies, which didn't seem like much time!  Given our group this year, it was actually perfect.  A few girls shared their testimonies at the beginning, and then it was just quiet for a while. I actually don't mind the quiet because I think it allows the girls to think about how they are feeling.  I know they feel a bit of pressure to share, which  I also don't think is always a bad thing. I did get up and share a brief testimony about our Savior and how my testimony has helped me through every tough time I have had in my life.  The Bishop (who also drove up after the funeral) gave the girls a five minute warning so anyone wanting to share could still do so.  Nobody stood up, so when the time passed, he said one more time that if anyone wanted to share a testimony, now was their time.  One of the shy girls stood up and I about died.  I have never heard her share a testimony, nor answer a question without being asked.  She talked about how shy she is, but that the girls really helped her come out of that shell this week.  She spoke about not being sure that she could feel the Spirit, and as she spoke she just cried and said that she DID feel it.  It was such a powerful moment, and I felt so grateful for experiences like camp that allow these girls to discover for themselves that they can feel the Spirit and have a personal relationship with the Savior.  Bishop closed the meeting with a beautiful testimony, and then we took a quick group picture. 

  We headed back to the main lodge where we had a closing program.  President Munoz shared a few words, followed by each ward singing a song.  When our ward stood to sing, "Strong" from the 2018 Youth Album, the Spirit hit me like a ton of bricks. I was trying to hold it together, but as I looked around at these girls who I love so much, I couldn't contain my tears.  They truly are strong, and I felt the Spirit testify to me that I was also strong.  The chorus says:

You are strong

Strong enough to make it through, whatever comes

You'l be amazed what you can do

You're a force, you're a fighter

A precious daughter of God

And He made you strong

This was exactly the reminder I needed after hearing the news from the doctor that morning.  This whole infertility journey can be tough emotionally, physically, and even financially.  But I know that my Heavenly Father is aware of my every emotion, pain, and struggle.  That is what keeps me going. I also have the best family and friends who have shown such love and support!

Bev came to watch the kids on Thursday night so that I could do ALL the things on Friday.  The kids love when she comes over, and I appreciate her help so much!  She took the kids on a dollar store adventure, and she sent me this picture from when they returned, haha.  Brooke's only new pictured item were the wings, but she had a whole ensemble planned for when she got home.  Colby found his way into the dress ups and came out with a very unique outfit!

By the time I arrived home that night it was nearly midnight and I was beat!  But I was super glad that I had the opportunity to go to camp, not only for the girls but also for myself. I'm grateful for the experiences we had together for those 3 hours, and I hope the girls will remember what they felt!

season passes

This is the fourth year we have done season passes to Hawaiian Falls (the best Christmas gift from Nay Nay & Papa), but the first year it has become a family affair!  Auntie Mel Mel bought passes for her and the girls, and Grandma bought one as well.  We coordinated our first outing together and it was SO fun!  The park was busier than usual which was disappointing at first, but it totally cleared out and the kids rode slides nonstop.

Again, I wasn't riding the slides in hopes of being pregnant, so I was up and down those stairs a million times!  I was also the official helper to the kids since some of the lifeguards are less than helpful when the kids need a boost to get off the platform. (But Brooke has it all figured out, do you notice her crouched position? )

I worried how it would be to balance what each kid wanted to do, but it all worked out and the kids had a wonderful time riding the slides, playing in the wave pool, floating in the lazy river, and enjoying snacks together.  We're looking forward to our next outing together!!

hawaiian falls

One morning the kids and I decided to head to Hawaiian Falls.  I texted my friend Kelly to see if her and her boys were free to join us, but she thought it was too cold for the water park.  I sort of laughed at her because it was 85 degrees outside, but it had been raining that week which does tend to make the pool water a bit chilly. But we were all still excited about it, so just went on our own.  I am actually SO glad we did because the park was literally empty (I guess people feared rain) and Brooke and Colby played SO well together.  

We started out in the kiddie area and the water was pretty chilly, but our bodies adjusted quickly.  They did the ropes course a million times, which was a novelty since normally the line moves so slowly. Brooke is completely independent now, and has branched out with different methods of maneuvering the course. Colby still needs some help, but he is getting braver and more adventuresome as well.

Then it was all about the mat slide!  I hadn't really thought about it before heading to Hawaiian Falls, but I didn't feel comfortable riding the slides since I was possibly (and hopefully) pregnant.  All the signs advise against pregnant women riding, and although it would have been super early in a pregnancy, I still wanted to be cautious.  I told the kids that my tummy was upset, which was why I wasn't going to ride.  Brooke, being an amazing big sister, offered to carry her AND Colby's mat to the top, but Colby was nervous and wanted me to go with him.  So, I carried his mat to the top, helped push them off, then headed back down the staircase to meet them at the bottom and help Colby pull his mat off.  I did that probably 15 times, so I was feeling like an all-star mom, haha. Colby finally let Brooke carry his mat at the end of the afternoon, which she was pretty happy about.  

The only bonus of me NOT riding the slides was that I could take my phone with me and take cute pictures of my kiddos.  I am way more cautious that I used to be after ruining my phone at Hawaiian Falls last year :(

They did these slides forever as well, and since I wasn't riding, I just waited at the bottom for them.  After each ride, Brooke would grab Colby's hand and run back to the slides, or put her arm around him as they walked.  It really was the sweetest thing and made my heart so happy that they were having this bonding time together. It sounds weird to write this, but I feel like my love for them grew as I watched them showing such kindness to each other and making memories just the two of them.

Since the day was going so great, we ended up staying for 6 hours!  That might be a record for us.  Our snack stash was depleting, so I decided to get the kids some cotton candy to celebrate a great day ;)

As you can tell, it was a big hit!  I absolutely loved this time with my kids, and it was a good reminder to me that we don't always need to meet friends when we go places.  They have each other, which is a friendship that I hope will last forever!

we love daddy

Kevin is adored around here, and the littles were excited to make him breakfast in bed!  Colby requested to crack the eggs, but then busied himself with something else, so I just did it myself.  As soon as he realized that he missed his chance, he was in tears.  I tried to distract him with another duty, but he kept asking me to dump out the eggs so he could do it himself.  That definitely wasn't going to happen, so I asked him to grate the cheese for the top.  He wasn't interested until Brooke wanted to do it, and then he was totally into grating the cheese to keep Brooke from doing it. Sibling love, right?  Brooke was excited to pour the juice and help arrange everything in the basket. 

We decided to sing a little song to the tune of Happy Birthday, and it was all super sweet :) These two painted pictures for Kevin, and had each chosen a gift (that I had purchased) to give their Daddy. Kevin loved it all, especially the fact that we all ate breakfast in bed together!

A few quick pictures before we headed out the door to church :)

Colby smashed a snail on the porch moments before the first picture, so when Kevin crouched down, Colby did this crazy pose to avoid stepping on the remains. Yuck!

The kids sang during Sacrament meeting, which was adorable as always.  Colby started doing a little wave to Kevin before the song started, then got my attention to do a little wave.  Then both hands shot straight in the air as he was waving to both of us, haha.  It was hilarious and had everyone around us laughing.  He didn't sing a word of the song, but Brookie sang the whole thing and loved every minute of being up there.

These kids are blessed beyond measure to have Kevin as their Daddy.  He would do anything for them and provides for a very beautiful life. He constantly shows his love and affection through his words and his deeds, and for that I am truly thankful.

family bonding

We had a free Saturday, which meant that we were on the lake as a family!  Jerry and Bev were going to join us as well, but they didn't end up coming down until dinnertime. It was probably the most low-key day we've had on the lake, which meant that it was full of laying out, hanging out, and watching our littles. The lake was actually pretty choppy, so the one time Colby did try to wakeboard, it was a wild ride, haha.  But of course he still loved every minute of it!  I was just a nervous boat driver :/

Work has been really awful for Kevin, so I told him that his weekend goal needed to be rejuvenating his spirit.  I really wish that he could get his staffing issues under control, but he said it best when he commented that things couldn't possibly get worse.   It's something we pray about daily, so I am hoping that they get better quickly! 

But I feel pretty confident in saying that we completed the weekend's mission of rejuvenating Kevin's spirit.  He loves being at the lake, but he also loves just being around the family. 

His parents brought the yummiest food from Hard 8 BBQ for dinner, and we enjoyed the rest of the evening just hanging out together.  Family really is the best blessing!

another visit from the tooth fairy

Brooke's bottom tooth (next to her missing tooth) had been wiggling since the day the first one came out on March 23rd.  It took about 3 months, haha, but it was finally ready to come out.  I encouraged her to have Daddy pull it out because I was worried that she was going to swallow it in her sleep! She was a little nervous, but Kevin convinced her to let hime just LOOK at her tooth.  She then had the courage for him to pull it out, and it was a quick and seemingly painless pull.  It bled quite a bit more than the last one, but after a salt gargle, she was ready to roll. (I adore the way she was looking at Kevin in this moment.  She has so much faith and trust in him, which is exactly how it should be.)

She was pretty excited about her two tooth gap, although the first one is already about halfway in.  This is such a fun stage :) I had to rush off to dinner with some friends, but Brooke made sure she placed her tooth in her special pillow and hung it from one of her dresser knobs.

Thankfully, the tooth fairy remembered to visit and Brooke was excited to show Kevin and I her money and note the next morning.

summer life

I'm still using Instagram (and Chatbooks) to document the daily stuff so I don't feel like I need to blog about EVERY picture I take, but I wanted to write about a few of our best summer memories so far! "Papa's boat" is a major part of our life, but with the addition of the kid wakeboard, things have gone to a whole new level, haha.  Just look at this face...

He has no fear and LOVES riding the wakeboard or surfing with Daddy. The way that he looks at Kevin melts my heart every single time!! I have a feeling that this will be a shared hobby for years to come.

I have instigated a summer checklist for each of my kids because I didn't love them asking to watch a show each morning.  Brooke's list consists of things like, "make bed, brush teeth and hair, practice piano, read books, do something kind for someone, help with chores, do something creative, and "summer bucket list". She is obviously most excited about the summer bucket list, but I can tell that she feels a sense of accomplishment to check things off her personal list.  It has helped when they get "bored" (which they know not to say around me), to go check their lists.  Colby's list is similar to Brooke's, but has "read books with Mama", and "practice writing" as well.

One of the items on the summer bucket list was to make mud pies.  I sent the kids outside with gladware containers, shovels, gloves and wished them luck.  After a while, I checked on them and they were having the best time together.

Brooke found a tiny worm that she was in love with, and they were pretty pleased with the results of their digging and packing.

This picture cracks me up, but represents summer at it's finest :)

We have had quite a bit of rain this month, which has sort of thrown our summer activities for a loop. But, actually, it worked out well since Brooke came down with "possible pneumonia" after Jeffrey and his family left.  Poor girl was napping multiple times a day and had little energy to play or go outside. Once she started feeling better and we were itching to get out of the house, we headed over to Uptown Village to play in the sprays and at the dinosaur park.  In my opinion, these pictures show the beauty of childhood summers.

We also spent an afternoon at the pool with Brookie's new whale from Nay Nay and Papa.  I wasn't sure if the pool monitors would allow it, but thankfully they didn't say anything and we had hours of fun together.

After a while, the kids wanted to warm up and have snacks, which sounded great to me. I love laying out by the pool, but it's something I rarely get to do with kids at the pool.  But maybe my kids are getting to the age where they will relax a bit poolside with me! 

I settled myself into my chair, then looked over to see Colby like this, haha.  Rocking Sissy's glasses was the funniest part :)

We also ventured over to Lynn Creek Park with a bunch of friends from the ward.  The combination of perfectly calm water, a cloud cover, and lots of friends to play with made the day absolutely perfect! Our group was the only one at the beach, which made it nice so I could keep a close eye on the kids. I could have stayed for hours, but we could only stay for 2 since we were meeting up with cousins at the movie theatre. 

We saw the new Aladdin movie, which was actually really good!  The previews didn't look that great to me, so I was pleasantly surprised.  I love the animated version and all the classic songs, so I was glad that they incorporated those into the remake. 

Summer life really is the best!!