due date

Uggh, so many emotions about my due date.  After my hysteroscopy in November, we were cleared to try again for another baby.  After all the blood tests following the miscarriage, I started taking Folgard (for the MTHFR mutation), low-dose aspirin, a Vitamin-D supplement, an increased dose of Levothyroxine (for my thyroid), CoQ10 for increased egg quality (which we don't think is necessarily the problem), progesterone after ovulation, and a new prenatal with Folate instead of Folic Acid.  I had been taking them for months, and since the scope showed "a beautiful uterus" (haha) according to Doctor Northrop, I felt pretty confident in our chances at conceiving.  November was unsuccessful, and as we neared the January 6th due date, I was really putting a lot of pressure on December being our month!  Several days near the end of my cycle, I had a lot of nausea, which really made me hopeful.  Sadly, on January 5th, I started my period.  I was praying so hard that I would feel confident in Heavenly Father's plan for us, and that if it wasn't the right time, that I could be at peace with that reality.  I felt really sad, but I didn't feel despair or hopelessness, so that was progress. I woke Kevin up to let him know that we weren't pregnant, and he just held me.  We both want another baby, and although I know Heavenly Father is aware of me, I really wish I knew what the future holds for us.  I have been reading a lot about the MTHFR mutation that I have, and I may find a fertility doctor that specializes in helping women in my situation.

Several friends checked in with me, which I appreciated SO much.  Another anonymous friend left flowers and a sweet card on my porch.  I'm so grateful that my friends are the answer to my prayers, even when I don't even know what I need!