First Week of Life

Our first week home with Brooke was both amazing, and a little anxiety-filled!  It was hard to believe that we were parents, and that our lives were completely focused on this one little darling girl :)  She was so incredibly sweet and loved to just be held.  Between Kevin, my mom, and I, she was getting lots of loves!  I felt so lucky because she just seemed so content all the time.  I would feed her every 3 hours, which took about 40 minutes, then I would pump, and then we would use the pumped milk to supplement her feedings via syringe.  This was the anxiety-filled part!  We had gone back to the doctor on Wednesday and Brooke had dropped to 6 lbs, 14 ounces (she was 7 lbs 0.5 ounces when we were discharged).  We were meeting with the nurse practitioner since our doctor was on vacation, and she was not my favorite.  She was, of course, super concerned, and was pressuring us to supplement her feedings with formula or go to a lactation consultant.  Although I understand that weight is important, I felt that Brooke was latching on and feeding perfectly, she was super content, and my milk hadn't come in until Monday evening, so we had only given Brooke 36 hours to pork up!  We were told that we had to come back the next day for another weight check to ensure that her weight either stayed the same, or increased.  Well, the next 24 hours were spent doing the same...feedings and supplementing when Brooke could barely keep her eyes open.  We often had to wake her up to feed her on the 3 hour marks, and by the time we got to the syringe feedings, she was asleep again and I feared that she was aspirating the milk.  

So we go back to see the nurse (Leslie) on Thursday, and Brooke was at 6 lbs, 15 ounces.  She had gained an ounce, and I was thrilled :)  I felt some huge relief, and a sense of accomplishment, haha.  Unfortunately, Leslie was still not satisfied and continued to lecture me about how she had lost so much weight since she was born, and brought up the lactation consultant again.  Long story short, she was super condescending to us, and when I assured her that the breastfeeding was going well, she told me that I "seemed pretty confident for a first time mom".  I wanted to hit her in the face, but instead I started to cry.  I was hormonal, going on random chunks of sleep, and I was frustrated.  I really felt like Leslie was making the week unpleasant, when really, I wished I would have just trusted my instincts and not let her ramblings get to me. 

That afternoon, we got home, and as my mom and I were getting lunch ready, Kevin took Brooke out of her carseat and was just holding her close to him.  I went over to talk to him and he just looked at me and said, "Our daughter is perfect, and you are doing an awesome job."  Best thing he could have said to me!!  Of course I cried again, and was emotional the rest of the day.  I would just be holding her, and would tear up, haha.  

We went back on Friday and Brooke had gained again and was at 7 lbs, 0.5 ounces.  This appointment was just a weight check so we weren't going to meet with Leslie, but as we were at the scale, she walked past and asked about her weight.  Her response was "We did it.", and then she corrected herself (thankfully) and said, "Well, you did it."  Yes, we did, no thanks to her! Our next appointment wasn't until the next Wednesday, and we were going to be with the pediatrician, Dr. Joki, who I love.

The week in pictures... Her first sponge bath.

I can't say enough about my mom.  She was the most amazing help ever and I don't think we could have done it without her.  She was constantly doing things for us, whether it was grocery shopping, cooking, bringing me water, keeping me company while I was nursing Brooke, cleaning my house, feeding me sandwiches while I was nursing, holding Brooke at all hours of the night, coming downstairs every few hours to help us with feedings, running a bath for me, etc.  She was a rock star, and we basically had an open door policy to our bedroom so she could come and go and help us as needed.  Kevin even told me several times throughout my mom's 3 week stay that my mom was awesome.  Kevin was able to stay home that first week with us, but once he went back to work, I really appreciated the help.

Bev was also able to come a few nights during Brooke's first few weeks of life.  She was a huge help and was always willing to take a turn during the middle of the night when Brooke just wanted to be held and I just needed to sleep, haha.  Brooke is definitely lucky to have 2 grandmas (and grandpas) that love her so much!!

My dad flew in exactly a week after Brookie was born and he was so excited to meet his first granddaughter.  The above picture is the first time he held her :)

Just for the sake of documentation (since this is my journal), MY healing was not going so well!  I was in A LOT of pain and was really struggling with managing it.  I had pain meds, but I had since run out of those amazing ice pads, the numbing spray, and the sitz bathes were only helping so much.  Friday morning I was changing Brooke's diaper and my mom happened to walk in to check on us, and I told her how much pain I was in.  She suggested that I call my doctor, which I did, and they told me that if I came that MINUTE, the doctor could see me.  If not, the doctor would be in surgery and I would have to wait until Monday.  I was conflicted because it was time to feed Brooke, I hadn't showered, and I didn't really want to leave Brooke.  BUT, I was struggling, so I decided to wake Kevin up to take me to the doctor, and my mom would stay with Brooke and try to give her a bottle of my pumped milk (which went flawlessly).  I am definitely glad I went because the doctor confirmed that i was still really swollen and bruised, and that she could see which sutures were bothering me.  I had two options.  She could clip the sutures and I would feel relief (but the "integrity of the stitches would be compromised"), or I could tough it out and hope it feels better with more meds, spray, and ice packs.  I opted for the later, and although it still took weeks of healing, all those extra things helped :)  And of course, this sweet little baby was a constant reminder that it was all worth it!