setting up Christmas

We set-up our Christmas tree the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and Brooke and I were both pumped!  I love Christmas decorations, and I think Brooke's love of decorations might rival my own.

I am grateful for a pre-lit tree because I don't think I have the patience to string lights on a 9 ft tree. After placing the burlap ribbon, I hung most of the ornaments and let Brooke and Daddy finish the last few.  Then, Brooke needed to kiss all the ornaments within her reach.  I have a woodlands theme going, so there are lots of animals to kiss.

She was also very interested in the handprint ornament we made her first Christmas.  She kept placing her hand on it and I would comment about how big she was getting.  We did a similar ornament for Colby this year to document his first Christmas. 

Brooke made a complete disaster in the living room while I was in decorating mode.  It took me a solid 3 days to finish decorating due to the demands of the littles :)  And I don't even have that many decorations!!

And our favorite little Christmas present...

There is something so magical about having a baby at Christmas.  Thinking about Mary giving birth to the Christ child in a manger is very humbling.

This happened later in the month...but Bev gave Colby his stocking and it was beautiful!  She does such a great job with this tradition, and I appreciate that she spends countless hours in this labor of love.

november iphone gems

Nay Nay was with us on the first day of November, which also happened to be her birthday!  I was thinking that maybe our baby would want to share a birthday with his Grandma, but I guess that wasn't the case. 

With Colby being itty bitty, we weren't spending as much time outside and I could tell that Brooke was missing it!  One afternoon, we headed out, and Brooke was so excited to rake leaves, haha.  The joys of being a kid :)  She is actually pretty helpful with yard work. 

She loved this Corduroy Halloween book my Mom gave her, and she even read it to a sleeping Colby. 

Brooke gives the most genuine smiles when she is with her Daddy.  The licorice helps, too :)

I spent a lot of time staring at that sweet face.  He smiled a lot in his sleep, which must have meant that he was having good dreams.

Bedtime was my favorite.  Brooke always asked if Colby could lay on her pillow, too.  He would just stare at his sister.  Seriously, he was so calm and chill.

These are the loves of my life...

Brooke's love of soccer continued, and she actually got really good at dribbling the ball with minimal repositioning of the ball with her hands, haha.

The Vitamin D was good for Colby boy as well!

I think I forgot how much newborns sleep!  And I was amazed by the amount of noise he could sleep through.  Brooke is a noisy little girl, but it didn't seem to faze him.  I guess he got used to her noise in utero.

One day, during Brooke's nap, I looked at her monitor.  I hadn't heard a sound, I just wanted to see if she was still asleep.  I couldn't see her, so I assumed that she was awake, and by her bookcase.  She generally waited in bed for me to come up, so it was a bit strange. I entered her room, only to find her curled up by the other door, haha.  It was kind of adorable,  and the only time she's ever done that.

Colby's eyes were still deep blue, and we were hoping that they would stay that way.  (He was wrapped in the dinosaur blanket Auntie Kimberly made for him. )

And this might be my favorite father-son picture!  I was in the bathroom giving Brooke her bath, when Kevin called for me.  Colby had fallen asleep next to him, and had positioned his little hand under his chin.  Kevin wanted me to take a picture, so I told Kevin to pose the same way.  I love these two boys :)

thankful

Thanksgiving was pretty low-key this year, which was great since we had a three week old baby.  Jerry and Bev brought all the food, and came to our house so we didn't have to pack up and go anywhere.  It really was so nice of them to be so considerate of my lack of energy, haha. I of course wanted to take a few pictures in the morning, and Brooke was not wanting to pose for me.  She informed me that she wanted to take the pictures.  I love her little pony tail in this picture :)  As I was taking pictures of Daddy and Colby, she climbed into the chair next to them and I quickly snapped a picture of my girl with her little smirk.  

Kevin is really good at pretending not to take pictures of Brooke, but getting her in them as well.

It was a beautiful day outside, so Kevin strung up his hammock on our patio. Brooke's expression cracks me up!  And Colby's little hand resting on his Daddy is so precious. It's moments like this that make me appreciate what I have. I wouldn't trade any of those sleepless nights for anything.

Overall, it was just a very relaxing and enjoyable day.  I am THANKFUL for my little family, our extended family, the home we have, all of our material blessings, our knowledge of the gospel. and the relationship I have with the Savior. I know that I am richly blessed, and I hope I can always remember to show gratitude for all that I receive.  I am also trying to do better at recognizing the light of Christ in my life.  (Something we are challenged to do by the YW President.)

nana

My sweet Nana passed away on November 25th.  For the last few years, my Grandma has been struggling with severe back pain, and was dealing with memory loss.  They had been unable to really find the cause of her pain, but would give her steroid shots periodically to help manage the pain.  It made me so sad to hear that she was in pain, and that nothing was really being done to alleviate that.  She wasn't a fan of going to the doctor, which was also probably part of the problem.  Her health was quickly declining though.  Towards the end of my pregnancy, we would talk on the phone and have cyclical conversations.  My Grandpa would eventually get on the phone and make a comment about how Grandma was forgetting things.  I know that he was frustrated, but it just broke my heart.  My Nana was one of the strongest people that I knew, and I could tell how frustrating it was for her that she couldn't remember certain things.  Sometimes, when I could tell that she was confused, she would say, "I'll let you talk to Grandpa now." 

With the decline in her health, my Mom and her sisters started talking about how to care for their Mom.  Grandpa was taking over a lot of the household responsibilities, but he felt that he couldn't do it much longer.  My Grandma was forgetting where the bathroom was, and as a result, was having accidents throughout the house.  Seriously, getting old can be the worst. I really hope my parents don't have to suffer through memory loss.  

When my grandparents made it down to St. George in October, they went to see their doctors.  After doing numerous tests on my Grandma, they found out that she had Stage 4 Kidney Cancer, which had also spread to her liver and her bones.  She was in the hospital, and was taking blood thinners due to a blood clot in her lungs.  Basically, the doctors told them that she would maybe live for 3-4 more weeks.  The doctor also told them that since bone cancer was the most painful type of cancer, he recommended taking her off the blood thinners and basically letting her pass.  The thought of not even trying to help her is seriously so sad, but then again, she was in so much pain and her prognosis was not good.  They didn't think she would even be able to make it through any type of chemo or radiation.  

My parents were already planning on going to St George for the week of Thanksgiving, but as they made the drive, my Mom shared with me that she was scared she wouldn't even make it before her Mom passed.  The thought broke my heart.  Well, they made it there and my Mom had some priceless time with my Nana before she slipped away.  I was able to FaceTime with her one afternoon, and she just looked so frail.  She acted like she knew who I was, but I am not sure if it was because my Mom had told her that it was me.  I guess she didn't even recognize my Mom the night her and my Dad arrived.  But she did recognize my Dad, which was interesting.  

My Mom stayed with my Grandma 2 or 3 nights, and would help her calm down again when she would get agitated in her sleep.  Despite how hard that was, my Mom said that she is so grateful for that special time with her mother.  Life really is so precious and we can't take it for granted.  I have always had a very special relationship with Nana and my heart aches just thinking about her loss.  

During her final week, my cousin Brittany, who lives in St George, went to the hospital and took pictures of the family.  When I saw these pictures, I just sobbed.  It was hard to see a frailer version of my sweet Nana, but she looked so beautiful.  I would have given anything to hug her one last time.  One memory that I love of her is when she would sing "A Bushel and A Peck" to me.  Ever since I was little, I remember her hugging me in her kitchen in Wyoming and, while swaying me back and forth, singing that song.  When Brooke was little, I started singing that song to her.  One evening, Brooke started singing it to Colby.  I took a little video and sent it to my Mom.  While she was with Nana, she showed her the video, and Nana kept singing the song.  Over the course of that week, my Mom told me that tons of family members saw the video, and that they all sang it to her several times a day.  My Aunt included that little story on the back of the funeral program to show that little bits of my Grandma were being passed down to the great grandchildren. 

Before she even passed away, I mentioned to Kevin how much I wanted to be at the funeral.  We had talked about how Colby was only a few weeks old (at the time of the conversation),  and the risks involved in traveling with such a young baby.  When Grandma passed away, the funeral was set for the next week.  And my Colby baby was barely one month old. I was so torn.  I wanted to be at the funeral in St George and the burial in Wyoming, but I also didn't want to put my baby at risk during flu season.  I talked to my Mom and she made a comment that she wished I could be there.  My Dad immediately commented that she shouldn't make me feel guilty, which she wasn't.  She could just tell that I wanted to be there. I began looking at flights and logistics of travel. I wouldn't be able to take Brooke due to the expense, and I didn't know if I was up for traveling with two kids. There was a lot to coordinate, and I just didn't feel peace about anything.

Melanie called me one afternoon, and was so sweet to help me look into flights, shuttles, etc. She even offered to let me use her flight miles to cover the cost of a flight. In the end, I just felt unsettled about traveling.  When I talked to Kevin about it again that night, he kinda had tears in his eyes and said that he didn't want something to happen to his baby boy.  If I wanted to go, that was totally fine, but he didn't want Colby going.  Well, me and Colby are kind of a package deal due to breastfeeding, so I made the decision to stay home.  I knew that my Grandpa would understand, but it was still really hard to know that I wouldn't be there.  I wanted to be there for him, for my Mom, and also for myself.  I guess I just wanted that closure.  My Nana will always hold such a special place in my heart.  She had a heart of gold, was so talented, gentle, patient, and kind.  She made me feel like I was so special, which always meant the world to me.

You are missed Nana, but I am so thankful for the knowledge that I will see you again someday!

sneak-peak at prairie lights

As we were out on the driveway selling the truck, I noticed that the Hawkins family was at the park.  The kids were wearing their green Prairie Light Sneak Peak shirts, which I assumed was because we had just received them that day.  After the truck was gone, we walked over to the park to say hello.  Kevin had been talking with Ryan, and when he came over to Joanna and I, he asked if I knew that the walk was that night.  Um, what?? I thought it was the Saturday AFTER Thanksgiving, not the Saturday BEFORE.  I felt like an idiot, and was so glad that we saw the Hawkins at the park or else we would have totally missed the event.  And I would have been ticked after paying $30 in entry fees for the race/walk. It was a freezing day, and we hesitated about whether or not we should even take Colby out in the frigid weather.  In the end, I figured that since he would be in the wrap, he would probably be the warmest one!  (Which he was.)

We quickly went inside, had some dinner, and bundled up to get ready for the event.  Brooke had on multiple pairs or pants, and a few shirts.  I could barely get my jacket on over the wrap, but we were warm, so that's all that mattered.  As we were walking over to the starting point, we ran into our group of church friends who signed up together.  We started out with Brooke in the stroller, but she quickly realized that she would rather be walking.  Since walking is a bit slower with a toddler, we ended up getting separated from the group, and being on our own. It was actually really nice just to have time together as a family.   I was really excited for the Christmas season with Brooke since she was at an age where she understood what was going on and could anticipate some of the fun events we had to look forward to. 

Brooke loved all the lights, and particularly the huge tunnel of lights.  We had gone to Prairie Lights the last two years with her, but both times we drove through the light display.  It was a totally different experience walking through, and I actually preferred it that way.  This might be a new tradition.

the ford

Watching the Ford being driven away back on November 21st, was surprisingly really sad.  When we bought the Nissan Armada back at the end of August, we intended to sell the truck.  The truck was purchased by my Dad back in 1998, and I took it up to Provo with me in January of 2006 when I made the decision to not serve a mission, but to continue dating Kevin.  When Kevin and I got married in June of that year, my dad gave us the truck and it's been a part of our family ever since.  It really has been such a great truck for us, and although Kevin frequently reminded me to "drive it like a Grandpa" since it was getting old, it was still running great.  We just didn't need three cars.

Once we determined what it was worth, we put For Sale signs in the windows and Kevin parked it at Certifit, thinking that it would sell within a few days.  He did that for weeks, with little interest.  We were both really surprised.  We kept talking about listing it on Craiglist, but just never got around to it I guess.  When I finally posted the ad, people showed interest right away.   Kevin talked to a man named R.T. for a while about the truck, and it seemed like we had a deal.  He came by the house to see the truck, and after a little negotiating, Kevin had the cash in hand.  It all seemed a little strange to be selling this truck that had been in our family forever!  Kevin especially seemed a little sentimental about it.  We had R.T. take a picture of us in front of the truck, and then I snapped another one of just Kevin before the truck left our driveway forever.

R.T. assured us that this truck was going to a good home, haha.  He appreciated how clean the truck was, and he said that he kept his vehicles in a similar fashion.  And for some weird reason, that did make me feel a little bit better.

newborn photos

Miss Danielle offered to come take Colby's newborn pictures, and I love how they turned out. He was one week old, and it was the first day I had the kids on my own.  The morning actually went super smoothly, so when Danielle showed up, I thought we were ready.  Then Colby was not staying asleep, which was causing me some anxiety.  Thankfully, Danielle was super patient and just waited while I nursed him several times throughout the almost 2 hours she was here.  Oh, did I mention that she came to ME?  That's a sweet friend right there!

Danielle even managed to get a couple with Brooke :)  And we all know how resistant Brooke can be about pictures!

I really wanted a picture of him in this blanket my Mom knitted, and I wanted him to be naked so you could see his little newborn cuteness.  Well, he didn't like to be cold (despite the space heater we had going) and without a diaper, so I figured we didn't get a good shot.  Then Danielle emailed me this picture and I was thrilled.  I love that sweet face.  And those tiny fingers!

Kevin's one request was that we get a picture of Colby on his wakeboard.  Mission accomplished :)